A divorce is a difficult time in the life of a family. Everyone will feel the effects of divorce, particularly your children. To help minimize the harm and difficulty of the divorce on the entire family, take these steps to help make the process somewhat easier.
Downplay the Details for the Children
When you have children and you get a divorce, avoid providing them with every single detail of the divorce. The split of the family is traumatic enough for the children to comprehend. They do not need the details of your decision imparted on them. Doing so can cause emotional harm.
In addition, never speak badly of your spouse in front of the children. Never put your children in a position in which they feel they need to choose between the two of you. Regardless of your relationship with your spouse, he or she is still a parent to your children whom they will have a relationship with once the divorce is final.
Instead, provide basic, general information about why you intend to divorce. Make sure the children do not feel any guilt or feel as though they are to blame for your decision.
Keep Your Emotions in Check
Though divorce is a legal transaction, it is still very much an emotional process. Although difficult, you have to keep your emotions in check throughout the process, particularly when you meet with your attorney or go before the judge. You should also quell any emotions you feel when you communicate with your spouse. Anything you say could affect the outcome of your divorce.
Before you reply to any communication from your spouse, sleep on it or take some time to absorb what he or she has to say before you respond. If your situation is tumultuous, consider only communicating through your attorney.
Do Not Take a Passive Approach to Your Divorce
If you did not initiate the divorce or if the divorce was unexpected, do not take a passive approach when you receive the divorce papers. You will likely be in a state of shock initially and not want to take any sort of action.
Do not allow your spouse to take the reins of the process. Doing so can lead to an unfair advantage. As soon as you know you will divorce, take a stand with your attorney and fight for a fair settlement.
Maintain Proper Communication
Communication is key during a divorce. Not only do you need to find a way to talk to your spouse, but you also need to maintain regular communication with your legal team. Every aspect of your divorce needs to go through your attorney.
Some couples can negotiate many of their own arrangements, which is an ideal situation. Still, you need to discuss all your negotiations with your attorney to ensure your negotiations are fair to everyone.
In particularly dangerous or abusive situations, be sure your attorney has every communication to make sure everyone is safe and you do not feel intimidated.
Keep Your Business Quiet
One of the best things you can do for yourself and your family at this time is to keep the business of your divorce to yourselves and your attorneys. When other people, whether family members or friends become part of the process, things will get messy and more difficult.
Also, consider what you decide to share on social media regarding the divorce. Generally, you should avoid posting anything about your divorce until everything is final. Better still, avoid sharing on social media altogether if possible. Your spouse's attorney can dig up information on social media to possibly use against you, even if the post was not intentionally malicious.
A divorce is an emotional time. Let Goble & Yow Attorneys, PLLC, help you through the process.